Doctor Grumpy's One-Day Preparation Course for Thru-Hikers

2014 Hiker at Blood Mountain attempting a thru-hike. ~~ Photograph by Robert Sutherland

You can have whatever you want on the Trail, if it's in your pack. ~~ Photograph by Robert Sutherland

Adventurers are furiously planning their 2016 hikes. Let's hope they take Doctor Grumpy's One-Day Preparation Course for Thru-Hikers!

Doctor Grumpy believes newbies especially need his free advice. Anyone not satisfied gets a cheerful refund!

Doctor Grumpy's One-Day Preparation Course for Thru-Hikers

  1. Schmoosh globs of peanut butter onto some bread. Drop it on a dirty floor, goopy side down. Count to ten. Pick it up. Don't brush off any crud. Eat it. Be happy.
  2. Strap on a 20-pound backpack. (A small dresser will do.) Lug it around from sunrise to sundown. For the entire day, only use what's in your pack (WIYP).
  3. Isolate yourself. No TV, Internet, cell phone or messaging.
  4. Whatever clothes you wear today, put them outside tonight. Wear them again tomorrow, even if cold or wet.
  5. Only eat or drink WIYP. Cheating is defeat.
  6. If something breaks, fix it yourself with WIYP.
  7. Eat outside. Deal with the bugs. Make a meal with WIYP. No chairs or tables.
  8. Have no contact with your friends or loved ones. (Except hungry kids.)
  9. Carry your pack up and down flights of stairs. Do it again and again and again.
  10. When it's time for bed, don't wash. Sleep outside. Wake up sore and tired. Repeat.

Doctor Grumpy's One-Day Preparation Course for Thru-Hikers is good practice for hiking the Appalachian Trail for six months. Honest.

Doctor Grumpy's Ten Tips for Appalachian Trail Thru-Hikers

Tags: Appalachian Trail, Hiking, Hiking Gear, Camping Gear, News, Robert Sutherland Travel Writer, Hikers, appalachian trail preparation, how to prepare for a hike, prepare for appalachian trail thru hike, and doctor grumpy hike preparation

About the Author Robert Sutherland:
Robert Sutherland is a travel writer enjoying life. Robert has two adult daughters and six grandchildren.
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john_c47 on Nov 5, 2015
Thanks Doc Grumpy.