Group Seeks to Pave the Appalachian Trail

Published Apr 1, 2013

paved path

Proposed view of paved Appalachian Trail.

A study released on April 1, 2013, by a group calling itself "Pave the Appalachian Trail Highway" (PATH) insists the Appalachian Trail must be paved.

The currently dirt hiking trail is 2,185.9 miles long. The unseen proposal adds 314.15 miles, for what they refer to as "scenic spurs."

Anonymous sources say the group is serious and has the backing of an unnamed benefactor -- an environmentalist, inventor and media whiz who recently made $500M in one transaction.

When asked if they were referring to Al Gore, the spokesman -- who agreed to speak only if his/her comments would be anonymous -- replied, "We report. You decide."

One section of the reputed but unseen document on the Appalachian Trail (AT) reportedly says, "An undetermined number of innocent hikers have been ambushed and wounded by rocks, roots and uneven surfaces. When will the carnage end?"

A source close to the investigation -- but who refused to be identified -- stated, "Only when the Appalachian Trail is paved will it really be the People's Highway."

That statement also reveals PATH's supposed goal to change the name of the AT to "The People's Appalachian Trail Highway" or PATH.

Sources could not be reached for comment on this story. In response, the PATH spokesperson said, "Really? Did you actually think someone would confirm this story? The same leaders who are ruining the global economy via the Fed, who deny Bigfoot, and who repudiate the medicinal qualities of aspartame? What did you expect?"

The final but unconfirmed report from PATH is due to be published on April 1, 2014. We'll bring you further details at that time.

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Tags: Tourism, Appalachian Trail, Hiking, News, Closings, and US Forest Service

About the Author Robert Sutherland:
Robert Sutherland is a travel writer enjoying life. Robert has two adult daughters and six grandchildren.
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